Yesterday while I was at work I wrote myself an email.
The email was intended to be to you, but I honestly couldn't decide which 'you' to send it to, so it instead went to me, but now here it is for all of you.
My ex co-worker bff is at the hospital now. She is saying something to our unconscious former boss about going into the light. She got word that they were going to 'pull the plug' on him at 2:00 pm today. She called a pastor friend of hers and asked him what she should say to a man that threw away everything. A man that a month ago told her he would die in the hospital and that he didn't care. This is the man that in May of 1996 gave me a job starting at $5 an hour. He was once brilliant and caring and yet years later the respect and admiration I felt for him was gone. He no longer deserved to be admired when he fumbled around the receptionist's desk looking for change from postage. During my last encounter with him, I was a stranger. I take that back. I am sure he knew me, he just didn't care. He stood in the room, with his sloppy Canadian tuxedo arguing with my best friend. He was demanding that she give him money. His pants were falling down, his shirt unbuttoned. I was holding a sack of fast food, and wrongly assumed that the oniony smell was coming from inside, rather than from the man that slumped before me. He didn't even say hello to me that day. He stormed out of the office and retreated to his cave next door.
.end letter.
He died yesterday. Around 5:30 I got the text: He is dead.
I am sad, that is certainly true. I always held out hope that he would make a comeback.
I am in very strange place now. I am stressed beyond belief.
I think I will take Radio for a walk.
~smb
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