feasting.moderation.forbidden.

The one where I find out I don't have a doctor.

Tune in next time to see what I do about the fact that at almost 30 weeks pregnant my doctor quit.

Will I:  #1 stay at the same office, but go with another doctor that may or may not be able to deliver for me?
              #2 go to a lady doctor that will deliver this child at a hospital that I don't really want to go to?
              #3 go to a man doctor that will deliver this child at a hospital that I was hoping to go to?

10 weeks to go, no doctor.

oh, the excitement.

I'm not too worried, this kid has to come out regardless of who is there to catch her.

~smb

The one with a baby party.

While we were on our way yesterday, I told Jason that I always thought that you only have most of your favorite people surrounding you for two events:  your wedding and your funeral... but if you want one more day of that, you should have a co-ed baby shower.

There were a few missing.  A few that lived out of town or had unbreakable plans, but for the most part, everyone was there.  Everyone gathered around us and raised their glasses and toasted our friendship and our unborn child.  The day was filled with laughter, food, friends meeting friends they had only heard about, two different families coming together, and just a bunch of love for someone that they haven't even met yet.

I hope that one day she is as lucky as we are.

~smb

The one with a Snoogle.

On Sunday Jason bought me the Snoogle.  I love that thing.  It looks really stupid, but its pretty awesome.  Radio HATES it.  Radio usually sleeps at the edge of the bed looking out of the bedroom until Jason goes to sleep, then once he knows we are both safe, he wakes me up and I lift the covers and he positions himself against my belly.  The Snoogle doesn't let him do this.  He is not happy.  I woke up no less than three times to a pug fighting with a snoogle.  He was trying to dig it out from under the my belly and finally I gave up and tossed the snoog at Jason.  So, I had to lay my belly on top of the pug, but he didn't seem to mind.  That was not the end of it though because then Prudence started kicking like a karate champ.

 

Prudence... thats another fun story from last night.  I was enjoying a delicious party pizza.  I don't care what you say, I think aside from MDP, tostinos is my favorite.  Say its cardboard all you like, I say you are missing out on something wonderful.  Anyway.  I ate a whole pie, which isn't that unordinary, they are small!  I was then telling Jason how I felt oddly unsatisfied, but kind of full at the same time.  It was a weird feeling, then oh... that is the feeling I feel before I vomit.  So, just as easily although much less pleasantly as it went down, it came up.  Apparently Prudence listened to my doctor and is trying to help me cut down on my carb intake. 

 

Today I am feeling a little bit off thanks to the pug and the kid. 

 

27 weeks in and she still doesn't have a real name.  Sometimes I picture her as the child like empress begging me to CALL MY NAME!  BASTIAN, PLEEEEEEASE!!!  What?  That isn't weird at all. Unlike dear Bastian, I will not be naming her 'moon child'.  You have no idea how many times I hit rewind on that tape to try to figure out what he was saying at the end.  I had to look it up on the mighty internet somewhat recently.

 

That is enough for now.

 

~smb

the one about the dance floor confession.

Ok, so I have a confession to make.  I feel ok about bringing it up because after being married to my husband for almost five years, I finally confessed to him last Saturday.

 

We were on the dance floor.  I was in a very pretty dress, a dress that while pretty, was causing me to limit the amount of breaths I was taking.  Everyone around me was singing at the top of their lungs.  Joy was filling the air.  I told Jason that I just couldn't dance any more, that I had to sit out.  He said, but Serena... its Ice, Ice, Baby.  That is when I broke it to him.

 

I hate that stupid song.  I have never liked it.  I decided that in my current condition I should only dance to songs that I love.  I completely blame my parents for forcing me to listen to The Beatles and Elvis Costello instead the popular music that kids those days were listening to*.  Once I got that off my chest I listed more.  I told him I don't like 'Billie Jean' either, I also not only am innocent of knowing a single step to the dance, but I don't know any words other than the title to 'Thriller', another extremely popular wedding song that I dislike is 'Brick House' (which thankfully was not played as the bride and I agree that there is nothing sexy about being called a brick house).  I also really don't enjoy conga lines, oh and SHOUT!  I don't like getting a little bit softer and a little bit louder and jumping up in the air.   

 

Are you shaking your head in disbelief right now?  Is that because you have seen me dance to all these songs at weddings and other functions?  Is it because you thought I loved all of these songs just like you do? 

 

Well, thats it.  My deep dark secret.

 

Pregnancy update: I am 26 weeks/6 months pregnant.  I do not have gestational diabetes.  I gained SEVEN pounds in 4 weeks and was reprimanded.  Sometimes my right foot swells. 

 

~smb

 

 

*I remember a friend of mine telling me that he was asked if he liked Vanilla Ice, and he replied... vanilla ice cream?  He thought it was some kind of delicious frozen treat, at the time I laughed and made fun of him.  Little did he know that I had just probably the week before found out who Vanilla Ice was.  It made me feel better though, cause at least I wasn't the only one lost on the hip music.

The one with the new jeans.

I bought new jeans this weekend.

I think they are great and wish I could wear them every day.  They are soft and dark and lovely.

I haven't been buying much maternity wear just because I am currently at an awkward size and at this point I only have 4 months left.  *GASP*  Anyway, from the beginning I have decided that the one article of clothing that I would definitely get would be a nice pair of jeans, so that is what I did.  Exciting story right?  So, you want to see them?  This is an awful picture taken with my phone and apparently my mirror is very dirty, but whatever, I know you only want to see the jeans.

 

There you go.  Hope your weekend was slightly more exciting than mine, but you have to admit, finding jeans you love is always pretty awesome.

What is NOT awesome?  My fruit craving has turned into a chocolate ice cream craving.  Check out Ben & Jerry's S'mores and Edys chocolate overload max (it has oreos & chocolate chunks), those are the ones I recommend at the moment. 

have a nice day.

~smb

The first one to Prudence.

Dear Prudence,

You are getting a bum deal.  I have not been reporting on your weird movements that started out feeling like soda bubbles and that are now turning into more aggressive bumps.  I have not reported that aside from one horrible Saturday I have been feeling pretty great.  I haven't documented the fact that all I want to do is eat fruit, lots of fruit, but that my weird pineapple allergy is stronger than ever.  There is no current list of bands that I have taken you to see so far.  No where will you find pictures of my rapidly swelling belly.  Most importantly, I never even reported that we are pretty sure you are a girl.

I'm sorry.

Don't worry, your name isn't really going to be Prudence.  Oh, I do have this romantic idea of you being a sad moody teenager and locking yourself in your room and your dad singing 'Dear Prudence' to you.  You will roll your eyes and tell him to go away and make fun of him, but you will remember that and years after you are done with your wacko teenage phase you will appreciate that he did that for you, but that just isn't going to happen.

The lady that looked at the sonogram said that she saw absolutely no boy parts.  (ACE!  if this ends up being you, then I apologize... oh and don't worry ACE! will not be your real name either)  I am happy for you.  You will have a great dad.  He will annoy you, there is no doubt about that.  He will quiz you on bands like you wouldn't believe, and he will no doubt eat most of your ice cream if you offer him a bite, but its ok, he is worth it.  He is gone right now.  He doesn't get back for about 17 days.  He went on tour with a band and is doing what he loves to do most (aside from being with us of course).  Its ok though.  We are doing fine.  We have Radio to protect us, who at this moment is snoring in the next room, but I assure you he is on full alert!  He will be home soon, and when he gets here he is going to take us to eat alot of pizza.  I promise that I will do my best to get a picture of us watching him play when we go see him so that you can have at least a picture of that.  Prudence, I'm sorry I don't take many pictures.  I don't photograph well, and its just not fun for me.  I'm sure you will photograph much better.

Oh no, Radio just woke up and came in to tell me that it is time to go back to bed.  No, he didn't actually talk to me, but he did give me a look of dissaproval. 

Goodnight.

~the lady that is housing you  (I probably should start talking to you and telling you that I am your mom so you know who I am when you pop out.)

The one with one wedding.

In the past week I have zipped up two different wedding dresses, helped two brides balance while putting her shoes on, adjusted both veils, approved jewelry and make-up for the two of them, but I only attended one wedding.

I can't even explain to you how sad it is to get one of your best friends completely prepared for her wedding day, to not see the final result.

I also can't even explain to you how wonderful and fulfilling it is to get one of your best friends completely prepared for her wedding day, and see the final result.

I just wish I could have had a time machine so that I could have been there for both.

The kid does not seem to be a fan of weddings though.  The two that this floating child inside me has attended so far have really pissed it off.  I am currently suffering from a hideous hangover that only a late night and dancing can bring.  I even sat out a couple Michael Jackson songs in hopes that I could prevent this.  Luckily its a long weekend so I have a solid two days to recover. 

~smb

the one with the filing cabinet.

For years I have heard that when you become pregnant you tend to lose your sense of balance.  I always have wondered how this would work out for someone such as myself who pretty much lacks any sense of balance to begin with.  Well, this isn't entirely true, I can balance.  I do constantly walk on my toes and can run in heels its just that, simply I run into things.  I constantly hit my hips on door knobs and smack my hands on walls.  I don't think that there is a corner in our house where I haven't stubbed my toe or that hasn't jumped out and hit me in the shoulder.  Today I hit an all time low though. 

I got my foot stuck in the filing cabinet at work.

I pulled some files and didn't shut the cabinet all the way.  So, I did what anyone would do, as I was exiting the vault, I stuck my foot out behind me and shut and shut it.  The only problem was that my red shiny shoe along with my foot got stuck in the cabinet handle.  I let out a weird laugh scream as my boss rounded the corner to find me shoeless and half on the floor.  I am sure this is just the beginning of many bruises and odd placed scratches that will be sure to decorate me in the next few months.

I am having trouble writing lately.  The truth is that pregnancy kinda sucks.  I have been sick most of the time, but really I am sick of complaining.  The last few days were the first that I made it to the gym since I can remember.  Hopefully my gym buddy's wack back will get un-wacked and we can get back into the swing of things soon. 

I should probably try to get back to sleep.  I took an applesauce break about 20 minutes ago.  I have to have blood work done in the morning. 

good night/morning.

~smb

The one about the kid.

For as much daydreaming as I do, you would think that I am a planner.  You would think that I was one of those little girls that planned her life's every moment.  That knew what my wedding would be like years before I had a boyfriend.  One that had my children's names picked out along with what they would wear to their first birthday party.  I am not that person.  As cautious and nervous as I am its probably a surprise at how I live from day to day without a definite plan.

My entire life I have been walking in a cloud of ambiguity (thanks bob), and right now isn't any different.

I am not quite sure if I want to know whether it is a boy or a girl.  People say, 'don't you want to paint?'  No, I really don't.  It doesn't mean that I am not excited because I don't want to paint, or because I didn't go out and register the second the pink lines were visible.  It doesn't mean that I don't care just because I didn't cry when I heard the heartbeat.  I just don't know what to do.  I'm not sure how to feel.  I struggle between the feeling of excitement and the feeling of extreme ccautiousness.  While, yes this was completely planned, I never had dreams of what motherhood would be like.  

I'm hoping that every morning when I wake up I will be greeted by a burst of energy and a stomach that isn't queasy, so far that has yet to happen.

Please don't take this entry as being negative, its just honest.

love,

smb 

The one with Ben.

Note to self:
Even when you feel horrible, no matter what you should always make yourself presentable.  You never have a clue who could be lurking around the corner.

On Wednesday night we went to see Ben Folds in Orlando.  Our seats were perfect, 5th row center.  He sang all of our favorites and we had an incredible time.  This picture was not taken in Orlando.

Jason and I headed down to Ybor City on Friday night to collect our team shirts.  Any time we are any where close to Ybor we eat at a restaurant that has the most amazing cheese dip.  A dip I dream about.  So, there we were waiting for our table and one of the guys standing next to us looked outside and said... hey, there is Ben Folds.  I thought that he was being a jackass to his girlfriend and as I turned I expected to see a Ben Folds look-a-like.  Instead I saw the real him.  He was just wandering around by himself like any ordinary person.  He was looking for a fast place to eat, but none of us could think of where to tell him to go.  He was extremely kind and didn't seem bothered by the pictures.  We told him we saw him a few nights before, but failed to mention that one of his songs was included in our wedding vows, but thats ok. 

It was a good night.  Now, I just need to meet Paul McCartney and I think that will be enough.  Hey, it could happen.

~smb