The room is packed. Randomly I walk in with my great aunt and uncle who I were signing in at the same time I was. We all sit in different areas of the waiting room. We take up the last 3 seats. They ask about Jason, they ask about Ada. The nurse walks out and calls my name.
The whole room turns to look at me. I'm the youngest one in the waiting room by at least 30 years. This already drew some attention. Now they are all staring as I walk through the doorway. Everyone knows it is not a good thing when you are the last to arrive in a waiting room and the first to be called to see the doctor.
Three weeks ago I went to the doctor because I was sick. The sickest I can ever remember being in all of my thirty years. I had a fever, I was coughing, sick to my stomach, sneezing. I had every symptom you could possibly have. At that appointment the doctor listened to my list of symptoms then listened to my insides. After he was finished listening to my abdomen he told me that he wanted to test my urine to make sure that we didn't have any surprises. I told him that there was no way I was pregnant, the math didn't add up to baby. He told me he just had to be safe, he has treated 3 'virgins' for pregnancy in the past. So, I took the cup, did my business and waited for the longest 5 minutes of my life. I could hear the nurses outside the door, 'IS SHE PREGNANT?!' but I could not hear his reply.
When he came back into the room I was lying on the table. First of all I felt like death and second of all I felt I needed to be lying down if the test came back positive. Let me explain that while I would have welcomed another child lovingly into my arms my mind was filled with flashing imagine of alcoholic beverages and a new supply of birth control pills. That is what worried me, that if I somehow conceived that I was tainting my defenseless embryo. He sat down on the chair in front of the table. The test was negative, but my (sorry Montel) urine was filled with blood. Oh, I can explain! I told you one reason that I knew I wasn't pregnant was because it was my special time of the month! Problem solved! I should be a doctor! He shook his head. He said that yes, while that could be some of it, it wasn't the bulk. He told me that sometimes your body alerts you that there is an internal problem by the symptoms that I described. I was ordered to take the medicine he prescribed and come back in a week to see if it was just a fluke. (He didn't actually say fluke, but I know that is what he meant).
A week went by and I still wasn't feeling my best, but he did tell me it could take a few weeks. Jason was about to come home from tour so I was in a good mood. I took the cup, did my business, deposited the cup in the appropriate cabinet and went back in the room to wait. When the doctor came in he rolled his little chair up to the table. He told me that while things looked better he was going to order an ultrasound for me. He wanted to take a look at my kidneys. He said that if I were a 50 year old woman who smoked he would be very concerned, but wasn't so concerned with me. He said that he thought that everything would be fine.
I went to have my ultrasound. The last time I was there we found out that the baby was a Prudence and not an ACE! In case you have never had an ultrasound let me just warn you, the technician will not say anything. I feel that they are trained to keep straight faces and calm voices. She spent a long time on my left side. I'm not sure how long in minutes, but enough time for me to determine that I was suffering from kidney cancer and only have six weeks left to live. As I wiped the ultrasound goo off my belly she told me that my doctor would call with the results in a few days.
Back to the present story. I'm called in to see the doctor ahead of a waiting room filled with grumpy patients who seem to turn sympathetic as I leave the room. The nurse asks me how I am doing while she takes my blood pressure. I don't know, you tell me. She says the doctor will go over my results. (If you will remember, the last time something like this happened was when I found out I had melanoma.) He comes in, wheels his chair next to the table and holds up some papers. He shows me that they detected an unidentified shadow in my left kidney. It could be a stone, it could be a cyst. He is almost positive it is not cancer. Cancer is identified differently when presented in a report. If it is a stone then I will add a urologist to the long list of doctors I have. If it is a cyst, we just leave it there. It may cause some discomfort, but it isn't a big deal. It may just be a shadow. A CT scan will be ordered. I go in on Tuesday for the CT scan.
After I got back to work I spent some time with my trusty friend Google. I read about cysts in kidneys and the symptoms. Pain from the bottom of your rib cage to your hip, your flank area. A light bulb went off in my head. I am in almost constant pain in my left flank. I really just gotten used to it. I couldn't tell you when it started. I just chalked it up to stress. My upper back and shoulders are usually tense, so, tense equals stress, right? Of course I have never mentioned the back pain to my doctor. I sort of freeze up when I go in there and don't forget that I went in there for a cold. My test is Tuesday and my doctor promised he would call me with the results instead of putting me through the torture of coming in for an office visit.
So, that is that. The first part of the unidentifiable shadow.
In other news, Jason is home right now and tonight I think we are going to celebrate Valentine's day and the fact that we are now renting the house that we owned 2 days ago.
Have a wet & wild day.
smb
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